What It's Really Like To Be Married To A Professional Organizer

It’s been a little hectic around here lately.  Since our return from our yearly family vacation in Mexico my brain has not wanted to switch back into writing mode.  To give myself a little jumpstart (and tbh to outsource an item on my very full plate!) I asked my husband to do a guest post on what an absolute joy it must be to live with me! So read on as Ben makes his writing debut on my blog and gives a little insight into how a marriage between organization and disorganization works (and I swear I only edited it for grammar and spelling!)

Allison and I met during my second year at University of Toronto. I was 19 and at the absolute height of man-cave, could-not-care-less-about-my-appearance (or-my-surroundings) pre-adulthood. Her new roommate was a friend of mine, so she came over to meet me and my other (equally-grimy) roommates. I had not shaved in a week and we literally had Maxim pictures taped to the wall as decoration. The kitchen was piled high with dirty dishes and I used an unzipped sleeping bag as a comforter. What I’m trying to say is that I was an obvious catch.  

Jokes aside if you have followed my wife’s writing at all you would know this does not sound like the beginning of a life-long love story. Yet something drew us to each other and ever since we’ve had a push and pull between her organized ways and my well-meaning but less than stellar abilities in that area. Twelve years and three kids later I continue to do my best to think like she does, but it can be a struggle.

This is why I think the job of a Professional Organizer is so important. She has been able to implement processes in our house that I can actually follow and that have improved both the organization of our household and our ability to interact as a couple.

That said, in this post I wanted to talk a little bit about how the DISorganized mind can benefit from this mindset and how her suggestions help clarify things for me even when I don’t get it 100 percent right.

One of the reasons Allison started her business stemmed from a common argument we were having a few years ago. I don't remember the specific issue but it is not really relevant. I suspect it was because I had taken something (like the salad spinner) out and didn’t put it back in the right place. For my disorganized mind, I just didn’t remember where I had taken it from and found some spot where it seemed to fit. Her organized mind couldn’t understand how I had forgotten where something went that I had just used a few minutes earlier (fair!). In the course of the dispute I said something to the effect of “You have to understand not everyone’s mind works this way.” This is true. I don’t walk into a room and see the things that are out of place. If it is actively MESSY I will notice this but if a pan is not with the other pans it won’t bother me. The thing is, I’ve learned that my life is easier when everything IS in place (wink,wink).

This is where my wife’s strategies have been incredibly effective. To use just one example of many; for years our tupperware drawer was a disaster. Mostly because I’m the one who usually cleans up after supper and I wouldn’t take care to “put like with like”. Allison took some time to set up the lids in a dish rack and put round, square and rectangular containers together. This made sense to me and was easy to follow. Now when I clean up from supper I don’t waste ten minutes trying to find the right lid for the container I need.

Slowly but surely I was able to see things that could be organized better. Even if I don’t know the best strategy I can make a suggestion and set her loose (one of the side-benefits of being married to a Professional Organizer is free organization. I pay her back by folding laundry and taking the kids to daycare).

I would by no means be able to move into the industry myself. My mind still doesn 't (and probably will never) fully work this way. But the benefits are real even for those who didn’t think it is important or thought they would never be able to maintain it. Allison has labelled so many bins and shelves in our house and I find it a relief, because I would genuinely stress if I didn’t know where something went. Now I know if I screw it up, it is clearly on me.

I bring other things to the table in our relationship and as with all things my conversion to organization is a work-in-progress. However the strategies she has written about and implemented in our household have had a real tangible benefit in our relationship and life in general.

Stop Beating Yourself Up For Not Being Organized

As featured on The Suburban and Huffington Post

While organizing a space isn't rocket science, it’s not always intuitive either.  I was with a client the other week who is whip smart, highly educated and has designed a beautiful home for herself, yet she continually beats herself up for  her lack of organizational skills.  

I had her sifting through some of her paperwork and she kept getting up to put them into the recycling bin, so the other organizer I had with me asked if she would like the bin next to her instead.  A simple step, like moving a recycling bin closer seemed so obvious to us, yet would never have occurred to my client, and she said just that.  And then felt dumb for not having thought of it herself.  But she wasn’t dumb.  Organizing just isn’t her forte.  

In the same way that I would never have thought to mix colors and patterns the way she does to create the beautiful home that she has, she wouldn't look at the eight junk drawers in her kitchen and envision a neatly organized command center.  We all have our strengths.  We all have areas we excel at.  Why beat yourself up for the the areas you don’t?

It seems that every listicle, Buzzfeed article, and Instagram post out there has a million “simple hacks” and “super-easy DIYs” to get you and your family organized.  Like if you read that article some magic spell will wash over you and *poof* you're organized.  And if you try these techniques and STILL can't get your s*&t together that you are some kind of failure.  You’re not.

What many of these articles tend to leave out is how personal an experience this can be.  And how the only way to truly make changes is to find what works for you and not try to mold your behavior so that you can finally make use of that DIY picture frame turned meal-planner-dry-erase-board that still doesn’t look quite like the “after picture”.

I get that this may be a bit of a strange article coming from a Professional Organizer and a blogger who frequently writes how-to articles on organization.  But I’m really tired of friends, clients and sometimes even strangers telling me how embarrassed they are of their kitchen drawers, linen closets or basement.  There is nothing to be embarrassed about.  But, if it’s not working for you then don’t be afraid to ask for help and change it.

It’s funny what society deems is acceptable to delegate or outsource to others.  You’re not embarrassed to having a weekly cleaning person come and wash your floors.  Or a company to come and mow your lawn.  It doesn’t mean that you’re a failure or that you are incapable of doing these things.  You just recognize that your time would be better spent focusing on the things that you are good at.

There are so many things beyond our control that can contribute to a lack of organization.  Both major and minor life events can cause our plans to shift and our routines to go out of whack.  School ending, a change in jobs, the birth of a new baby, adding a family pet, the death of a loved one.  It’s not always easy to adapt to these changes without feeling overwhelmed.  So it’s okay to ask for help.  It’s okay to outsource the tasks you can’t or don’t want to do.   It’s also okay to not feel guilty about it.  We’re all in the same boat, we all have busy lives with different obligations pulling us in different directions.

If what you’re doing is working for you then don’t worry about what other people say or think.  But if it’s not then commit to change.  Reach out to a friend, or family member or even to a Professional Organizer.  Just stop beating yourself up about it.

5 Tricks For A Highly Organized, Super Relaxing Summer

As featured on Huffington Post

Maybe its that I have it hardwired into my brain from having the summer off of school as a child but my mind definitely forms a direct line between summer and relaxation.  Unfortunately, my brain has yet to catch up with my reality.  With soccer for the kids four nights a week (at 6:15pm!!!), daily multi-location drop-offs and pick-ups, clients wanting their spaces organized, oh, and a 4 month old baby, there has not been a lot of downtime this summer.

I’m definitely one of those people that is way more relaxed when my space is clean and organized.  In fact, it’s the only way I can actually keep my sanity when things get super busy.  Here are some of my favorite summer organizing tips that will help keep you feeling like you can conquer this summer too.

Stop Cooking

Okay, I obviously don’t mean stop cooking entirely thereby letting yourself/partner/kids fend for themselves and consequently die of starvation. But I do mean to take a break from the same type of cooking you would do during the rest of the year.  The key to this one is really to plan your meals and try to re-use what you have.  If you’re marinating chicken for the BBQ double up the recipe and throw the rest in the freezer for an easy meal next week.  Opt for no-cook meals that can be thrown together in minutes.  Our family fave is “make-your-own-burritos”.  I even joked that because of the whole soccer all week during dinnertime thing that I was instituting a “sandwich only” summer long policy for dinner.  Then we actually had sandwiches only for a whole week.  It was unpleasant. But sandwiches once a week are ok.  Either way try to scale down the cooking and keep it simple.  If you need more inspiration check out Pinterest.  I always find great dinner ideas there.

Plan For The Morning Chaos

Summer = Sunscreen.  Every morning. On every child.  So make it easier on yourself and set up a sunscreen station for yourself wherever it makes sense for your routine.  For us we have two open baskets in our entryway.  One has hats and the other has sunglasses, sunscreen and bug spray.  The kids can grab what they need and we can help with the sunscreen application on our way out the door.  Once it becomes routine it becomes easier.

The other scramble in the morning is planning for special day camp/daycare activities.  Whether it’s remembering a bathing suit, craft project or running shoes.  A good way to avoid this is putting the schedule or special note on the back of the door.  If you are forced to look at it before you leave the house you are more likely to remember what you need.

Summer Car Kit

SO MUCH TIME IN THE CAR. Ugh. Best to be as prepared as possible.  Folding chairs for soccer, picnic blanket, paper towels, emergency snacks, wipes, sports gear, bug spray, bubbles (for bored toddlers);  whatever your summertime essentials are, try to do a bit of pre-planning prep work and keep them in the car.  There is no sense in taking them in and out all of the time if you don’t have to.  Be Prepared.

Drop Zone

I don’t know what it is about kids and dropping all their stuff the second they come in the door but they do.  Backpacks, lunch bags, towels, rocks (why do they even need to come in at all???), toys.  Everything gets thrown on the floor in the front.  At least in my house it does.  Even though we have hooks and a bench, the gravitational pull once they walk through the door is just too strong and it all hits the floor.  To combat this phenomenon try putting a large bucket in the front ( or some type of bin, heck, even a laundry basket would work). The goal is to have one place to put all the crap that you can then grab and put away in one trip.

Go Bag

Whether you are heading out to the pool, park, or just to a friend’s house, have a “go bag” ready.  It’s like the older kid version of a diaper bag.  Change of clothes, spare bathing suit, extra hats, suntan lotion, water, snacks,  all of the essentials.  Nothing is worse than having the kids all ready to leave while still running around prepping the gear.  If you miss that very small window when their sandals are on and they’re not trying to kill each other you may never get it back.  If you let one kid go back for “one more toy”, your whole schedule goes out the window.  Go Bag. Trust me.

Wishing You All A Happy And Organized Summer!

5 Things To Think About When Organizing Your Entryway

As seen on Huffington Post

I don’t know about you but if my entryway isn’t tidy and free of clutter it doesn't matter how clean the rest of the house is, it just feels messy.  Call it what you want, the vestibule, mudroom, foyer, it’s the first impression you have of a home and if you don’t have a good organizational system setup that works for you and your family you will constantly be fighting a losing battle.  

Much like any other room that needs organizing there are many factors that come into play that will help determine what is going to work for you.

Who are you organizing for?

Do you have an adult only home? A few small children? A very wide age-range of people living with you? Do you have visitors over often?  Really stop and think about the needs of the room and the people that pass through there.

Think Vertical

Using the vertical space in a given room is a great way to increase your storage space.  This is especially true in the entryway.  A row of hooks on the wall for extra jacket storage, a shelf to store baskets; both can really help you get the most out of your space.  Just be sure that your are factoring in the height of the people who live there.  Hooks at the right level for children can really help encourage them to hang up their coats on their own and  easily get them before leaving the house.  If you don’t have a lot of wall space, think about the vertical space you do have.  Look at the inside walls of the front closet. You may be able to put some hooks there.  You can also try using a closet doubler (basically a rod that hangs from your existing closet rod)  for increased coat storage.

Accessibility Based on Frequency of Use

You really want to try to make items that are used frequently as accessible as possible.  In the winter this means your hats, scarves, gloves.  In the warmer months those items will switch over to the sunhats, sunglasses and sunscreen.  You can store these items out of the way while not being used. While they are in high demand you can try open basketa or bins or even cute bags on wall hooks.

Have Defined Spaces

Try to think of defined spaces for your things in the same way that directions help us to get from point A to point B.  When a path is clear it is easy to follow.  This can be as simple as having a mat for shoes and boots, or labeling the storage containers.  It is hard to blame the members of your house for leaving stuff all over the floor when they come in if it isn’t clear where to put it.  For your older kids, whose school bags end up all over the house, having hooks with their names or open-concept lockers may do the trick.  Pinterest is my go-to website for inspiration. You can find all kinds of ideas depending on your decor and budget.

Don’t Forget Your Guests

When organizing your space don’t forget to have a bit of storage wiggle room for friends and family.  This can be as simple as extra hangers (and enough space for what you will be hanging) in your front closet. I’m a “no shoes in the house” person.  I blame it on my microbiology background and knowing how easily gross outdoor bacteria can get tracked inside and then directly into my children’s mouths as they drop their food on the floor and then eat it.  For that reason I keep a basket of slippers in the front closet in varying sizes for guests.  That way I have something to offer them when I kindly ask them to remove their shoes before coming in.

When it comes down to it, this high-traffic area is just like any other space in your home.  You want to try and think through how you are using it and what specific organizational issues you are having.  Try not to go against your natural tendencies.  Instead, find a way to work within them.  If junk mail ends up in a pile near the door, then perhaps that would be a good place for a wastepaper basket.  If your kids take off their socks as soon as they walk in, then consider having a small laundry bin handy.  Organizing is personal and unique to each space and family.  You just need to find what works for you and it will be nearly effortless to maintain.

Happy Organizing!